Apple Watch

The Apple watch is a poor-quality watch, which is only popular because it has Apple's logo on it.

History
In 2015, some idiot at Apple said the following. "You know what we should do today? Try and fail to steal customers from Bulova by making a terrible watch and slap our name on it!" It has failed miserably, and Bulova remains successful.

Features
Here's the features, which I'll list below.


 * Its primary food source is human brains.


 * Attacks and disables foreign software.


 * Has been declared an environmental hazard by the EPA.


 * Multiplies when fed after midnight.


 * Built by demons from hell


 * Can be used to induce vomiting.


 * Will be responsible for the end of the universe.


 * Looks cool when set on fire.